Why do some couples become closer by sharing a new home, and others get drawn apart? Part of the answer lies in understanding the connection between habitation and inhabitants. The rooms in which couples live together subtly influence their relationship.
The master bedroom is a priority because the family depends on the relationship that originates from that space. If this room lacks proper orientation, the family’s longevity may be threatened.
Feng shui (fung shway) has been a living tradition for thousands of years, and the longevity of this natural art speaks of the contentment found through its loving practice. Feng shui teaches us that the home reflects on the life. It is a physical extension of our inner world, and the flow of chi (life force energy) through the home is related to the flow of divine and human love.
Feng shui tells us not only to remove blockage from our flow by clearing clutter from our path but also how to enhance our lives by embellishing our environments. And it gives us an excellent tool to direct our embellishments: the bagua, an eight-sided map that can help us locate spatial relationships and see their impact on our residence. Using the bagua, we can identify the aspects of our living spaces that can be enhanced to promote loving relationships that endure throughout life’s many changes.
Cultivating life flow
Chi is often referred to as the “breath of life,” and in that context the home’s main entrance is considered the “mouth of chi.” Just as we inhale and exhale, chi flows in and out through the door—and the cultivation of chi enables the process of living life to its fullest potential.
Standing at the entrance to a home or in the doorway of a room within a house, the area located in the corner farthest to the right from that entrance is considered the relationship area. This far right corner of a room is auspicious for enhancing and creating love and romance, marriage and partnerships, and a relationship with the receptive, feminine, yin qualities of mother earth. The far right corner of a home is an ideal place for a master bedroom, sheltered and intimately removed from the day-to-day activities of the front of the house.
Promote love and marriage aspirations in the relationship corners of each room in your home with objects that embody the qualities of love. Relationship symbols are about uniting and merging together and love is best symbolized by pairs. Objects like pairs of candlesticks or vases, romantic images of couples, hearts, matching picture frames, love mementos, and poetry that affirms our hearts’ deepest desires for the beloved all support this area of the bagua.
Colors of love
The traditional colors of love, red and white, come together to make pink, and may extend to the broad range of flesh tones: chocolate or ivory, pale rose, peach, or dreamy violet. To get a better idea of the range, look at your own skin and the color of your lips or your freckles. Is your complexion dark or light? These colors have tactile qualities and are excellent in a master bedroom, encouraging sensual and sensory tones.
Avoid green as a predominant color, especially in a bedroom. Green is okay to accent with, but is unflattering for people, making us look sickly. We describe someone who looks ill as “looking green.” Stick to warm and healthy hues that are inviting and comforting.
No part of the house is as important to love and marriage as the bedroom. Ensure that it is a place of privacy, intimacy, and sensuality. While it is not always possible for a bedroom to be situated in the ideal far right corner of a home, try to sleep in the most secure and restful room, preferably the one farthest removed from the activity of the front of the house, the main entrance, and busy street traffic.
The bedroom should be about a partnership between two people. Inanimate relationship substitutes are distractions from your significant other: stuffed animals, pictures of other family members, and televisions overcrowd the room. Let go of trying to multitask and focus the space’s purpose on rest, renewal, and bonding. Keeping the path to your heart uncluttered keeps you receptive to love.
Appropriately positioning your bed is important. Sleep with a solid wall behind your head, preferably an interior wall with clear view of the door. Chi flows in and out from and between windows and doors. Try to avoid placing your bed in the path between a door on one wall and a window on an opposite wall, or sleeping with your feet in direct alignment with the door.
Mirrors intensely amplify light and are best eliminated from view of the bed. Windows need to be well draped or covered, to avoid another source of mirror-like reflection at night, and heavy drapery also adds insulation in the winter months.
It’s preferable that bathroom doors not be visible from the bed. They should at least be closed while you’re sleeping so that your thoughts and dreams will not wander in an inauspicious direction—“down the toilet.” Open closet doors may contribute to inhibitions or secrecy and are best closed as well.
Peaceful rest is only possible if sleepers do not feel threatened. Be careful not to place any heavy glass or framed art above the bed. It’s a basic safety issue-mounting hooks might fatigue or an earthquake could cause heavy objects to fall, possibly causing severe injury to those sleeping below.
Nor is it advisable to place your bed beneath overhanging shelves, overhead structural beams, or bright overhead lighting, all of which can exert the feeling of downward pressure. If the bed is low or the ceiling is high and the area above the bed seems too vacant, a tapestry, fabric, canopy or mosquito netting can fill space around the bed.
A low horizon line is restful and relaxing, so furniture should not loom too high. Low furniture at the foot of the bed is the last thing you see together before sleep, so make it a shared altar to love.
Make room for partnership
No one is relieved or can sleep when you have to climb over another person to get out of bed in the middle of the night, so create access for both people to enter and exit the bed comfortably.
If you’re single, don’t make the mistake of sleeping in a single bed or having just one pillow. A single bed doesn’t accommodate or make room for the possibility of sharing, now or in the future.
Also, change linens when you change relationships to help clear the space of old attachments. At the very least wash them or, preferably, purchase new ones, or even purchase a new bed if yours is small to embrace the possibility of a new partner.
You get what you give
A shared home is a physical affirmation of love. To fill it with loving qualities promotes tenderness, passion, and commitment. The energy you put into creating a loving place to live manifests in the closeness you will gain sharing it.